Electrokittie (nonezapisal) wrote in feministsanon,

Feminism and the media

Hello, I just thought I'd share a debate I had a few weeks ago with a 'friend' (or rather , an unsavoury aquaintance who in his words believes feminism is "an excuse for women to hate men" and is constantly arguing the toss over everything I say about, well, anything)  on the way womens magazines seem to alienate the 'single woman'.

I am single out of choice and extremely content with that - however, I feel women are pressured into feeling that a relationship is a commodity. I'm aware this also happens in mens magazines, but the message is that to be in a relationship is to be happy. If you are not in a relationship you are bombarded with articles on '10 ways to get a man/please a man/find love/flirt' etc. which may all be in good fun, but in my own opinion, I personally don't feel like life should revolve around girls trying to 'have it all' by finding a partner.

The amount of young women i know who feel inadequite or have low self esteem because they don't have a partner is quite absurd, and a little sad. These are girls aged 15-25 who can't enjoy life with friends, family, work, university, college etc. because they feel a man/boy is what is missing in their lives - all at such a very young age.  

I don't feel like the so-called feminist ideals behind 'Sex and the City' have contributed to any sort of liberation - all they have indicated is that in the end, all the single women within the programme have wanted/ pined for is a relationship -  but  that if they haven't, they are entitled to sleep around 'like a man' . I agree that is entirely a personal lifestyle choice people are entitled to. Yet for all the berating of cheating husbands and the grief male promiscuity allegedly causes, I'd say two wrongs will certainly not make a right.

Once more is the assumption is that if you ARE single, I find the general idealogical consensus  is that the reason behind it is because you are

A) unnattractive
B) Psychotic
C) A 'bitch'
D) A 'slag'
E) A lesbian
F) A 'man-hater'
G) Overtly neurotic
And whatever else

For all the theories about mens magazines degrading and exploiting women, there is an equal amount of such thing in our own reading material. Why do certain media outlets like to generalize that all women care about is "clothes, make up, chocolate, having the odd baby or two and getting a boyfriend"? Even from an early age in teen magazines we are plied with pin ups and boyfriend advice.

I agree, relationships are a part of life, but it leads people to feel that there must be something severely wrong with them if they are single.

Any thoughts?

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